Friday, December 18, 2009

2 days before leaving penang for a much long awaited escape!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

escaping to the city~~~~~
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
in 2 days time, and exactly around 43 hours
= ))))
jeng jeng jeng jeng~
bringing lappie, dslr, digital cam, mp3, and vodka!
muahahhahaha! bringing oni one week's clothes
i get to wash em! muahahhaha!
excited. finally getting out of here.
finally leaving this miserable place.
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~~~~
Gonna take shit loads of photos there.
shall be uploading to fb every now and then
see you guys next year~! = ))

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

= ?

???????

Don't know why I ain't happy.
Don't know why I ain't sad.
Don't know what I am feeling.
Perhaps this is the ending of a story, beginning of a new chapter...
Is this how I should feel?
Life's gotta move on, I'll move on.
On monday, I shall leave Penang.
To somewhere not many people knows who I am
What's more, what are friends for when they don't even have you in sight?
Life's a brief candle.
Behold its magnificence.
Something great will happen to me.
I'm positive.
But now, I shall just calm myself down before the new chapter of my life begins

Portraits photoshooting? Hmmm... nobody wants and nobody has the time
Perhaps I shall try composition and scenery this time
Bye bye Penang.
U miserable island!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Photos. Food. Birthday.

Mayhem~~~
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Other dinners...
Happy Birthday Splendy~!
Tribute for you. but with added photos from my previous dinners!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

I'm Sorry. I can't be PERFECT.

男孩和女孩从小就认识,男孩经常约女孩一起去村外的池塘边捉小虾,每次男孩总是满载而归,女孩却是两手空空,女孩总是失落的含着眼泪,独自一个人回到家, 然后闷闷不乐。晚饭前,男孩敲响女孩家的门,女孩一见是男孩,扭头就走,男孩追上前,对女孩说:“对不起,我把你的虾都捉走了,给,我把它们养在小鱼缸 里,送给你。”女孩眉头一放,慧心的笑了,就这样反复着他们纯纯的童年,转眼,他们各自成长着。
——
纯纯的“对不起”


男孩总是喜欢戏弄女孩,经常会把女孩逗到哭,然后又去哄女孩到她笑为止,直到长大后,也是如此。
男孩经常偷偷的把女孩的自行车轮胎的气放到没有,然后躲在远处,看女孩着急的走投无路,等着女孩拨通他的手机,然后破口大骂他的小贼行为。可男孩,依旧那 么喜欢这样的女孩。他窃窃的从远处走来,灰溜溜的为女孩推着那辆没了气的自行车,任由女孩在一旁发牢骚,男孩却暗自窃喜,然后委屈的对女孩说:“对不起, 我知道错了。”随即,女孩便会柔弱下来,告诉男孩下次不允许那样,男孩点头,于是,那时的他们每天都充满着笑容。

——
“对不起”的快乐



大学毕业后,男孩和女孩各自有了工作,男孩的工作总是很忙,有时一个月都休息不到一次,而女孩总是抱怨男孩冷落了她,终于,他们有了第一次的吵架。女孩委 屈的哭起来,可男孩却很理直气壮的告诉女孩:“这是为了我的工作。”这场冷战持续了很久。终于,女孩还是忍不住,主动和男孩和好了。后来很多次男孩和女孩 都因为这样的小事而吵得不可开交,可每次,都是女孩先妥协。
那年,女孩生日,男孩答应女孩要给他过一个浪漫的生日,女孩欣喜不已,她在家精心打扮,等着男孩回来陪她渡过这个美妙的生日,这一等就是凌晨,女孩在睡 梦中醒来,脸上挂着泪痕,男孩见到女孩,心疼的为女孩擦去脸庞的泪痕:“对不起,嫁给我好吗?”于是男孩拿出一枚戒指。

——
“对不起”也是一种承诺



婚后,男孩的事业大有成就,经常有许多应酬,而女孩已经成为一个专职太太了,每天在家为男孩准备热菜热饭,把家里收拾的干干净净,她经常会去菜场买回一些小河虾放在鱼缸里养着,男孩总问他为什么,女孩却总是慧心的一笑。
慢慢的,男孩每次回家,身上总是充满了不同的香水味道,而每次没等女孩问,男孩总是忙着解释说应酬太多。女孩黯然,那时起,女孩不太爱说话了,也不 像以前那么开朗了,她总是喜欢成天的呆在家里,抱着枕头看韩剧,然后随着剧情哭泣,夜深时,就会疯狂的大哭。以后的日子里,男孩回来时,身上的香水味只有 一种味道了,女孩从来不问,可是男孩依旧说:“对不起,今天又去应酬了。”

——
“对不起”,谎言的开始


渐渐的,男孩开始不回家,或总是在外出差,男孩的事业越来越好,身边都是奉承的人,他每天都在别人的恭维下自豪的笑着,而女孩,几乎不出门了,她总 会去超市买上很多方便面,和一些必要的日用品,然后把自己关在家里,这一呆就是很久。从前,女孩会经常和男孩一起聊聊天,而现在,她孤身一人,身边没有一 个可以说话的人,每次打电话问男孩什么时候回家,男孩总是仓促的回答到:“对不起,我太忙了。”女孩,失落的扣上电话,那以后她再也没有问男孩什么时候会 回家。

——
“对不起”,只是个敷衍的方式



女孩学着电视上的样子,开始打扮自己,她觉得男孩不回家,也许是看腻了她,她决定不再颓废,自己的幸福应该靠自己争取,而不是无谓的后退。
那天,女孩心血来潮,按照地址去了男孩工作的地方,那是女孩第一次去,也是唯一的一次。女孩涩涩的按下电梯,来到这个男孩经常说忙的地方,她细细的 观察这个公司的每个角落,这里的一切,她都觉得很好看。终于,绕过长长的办公走廊,她来到男孩的办公室,轻轻的推开门……女孩愣住了,眼前看到的不是自己 的丈夫,也不是那个经常弄坏她自行车的那个贼小子,更不是那个把虾放在小鱼缸里的男孩,而是一个正在和别的女人做爱的男人。那个女人坐在桌子 上,******的发出微弱的呻吟声,那个男人,仿佛山林里饿极了的野兽……
许久,男孩才发现了女孩,男孩惊慌失措,忙把衣裤捡起来穿好。可女孩,转身离开了。男孩飞奔出去,追着女孩,那晚,大雨袭击了整个城市。女孩不顾男孩的叫 喊,径直往前跑,往回家的方向跑,男孩在女孩后面大喊:“对不起,我还是爱你的,对不起,我真的只爱你。”可女孩,始终没有听见。

——
这样的“对不起”太伤人


男孩一直都没有找到女孩,女孩失踪很久了。男孩的世界已经一片黑暗,无心工作,无心花天酒地,他想不到女孩可以去哪里,因为女孩没有朋友,她唯一的朋友就是男孩,男孩终日守着电话机,手机24小时不关机,怕错过了女孩的电话。这一等就是半年多。
快递为男孩送来一个盒子。
男孩打开一看,里面是许多河虾的标本,有的在树叶边休息,有的在水草里躲着,各式各样的河虾标本,旁边放着一封信。

“ 我始终没有勇气再见到你,可能是我太懦弱,也或许是我根本不想见到你,我想这些『警告:注意文明用语!』应该过的没什么两样吧,我很好,我学会了离开你怎 么让自己存活,我懂得了怎样赚钱养活自己,而不用每天等着你回家,为你烧一桌热腾腾的饭菜,直到凉了也不见你的人,我的手机已经不用了,因为我已经不会再 为你24小时的不关机,让自己饱受辐射的折磨。我懂得怎样去爱惜自己,珍惜自己的本来应该美好的生活。我想,我是可以忘记怎么去爱你的,因为你把我的爱弄 得遍地麟伤。
离婚协议书,就压在鱼缸的底下,你签完字,按照地址给我寄过来就行了。
对不起,我想我是真的累了。”

男孩按照地址找去,他满心希望能够见到女孩,然后让女孩原谅,并且告诉女孩自己不能没有她,可是打开门的却是女孩的父亲,而女孩就站在她父亲的身后——是女孩的遗像。
女孩的父亲告诉男孩,女孩在写完这封信后,跳楼自杀了,血肉一片模糊。

——
原来“对不起”也可以是种结束

那一年,男孩疯了。

每个人在自己的生命里头,一定会遇到一个自己真正该珍惜的人。请你好好的珍惜那一个人,不是每一句的对不起,都可以换来每一句的没关系……千万不要辜负了自己心爱的人,那对谁,都不好……把这个故事传下去,让你的朋友们知道,不要随意地说出对不起......

Money money money~~woes

Money



It can buy a House
可以用來買房子 

But not a Home

但是不能買一個家 

 


 It can buy a Bed
 可以用來買床 

But not Sleep

但是不能買睡眠



It can buy a Clock

可以用來買時鐘 

 But not Time
但是不能買時間

 
 It can buy you a Book
 可以用來買書 

But not Knowledge

但是不能買到知識



It can buy you a Position

可以用來買職位 

But not Respect

但是不能買到尊敬




It can buy you Medicine

可以用來買藥 

 But not Health
但是不能買到健康
















It can buy you Blood

可以用來買血

But not Life

但是不能買回生命 



It can buy you Sex

可以用來買性行為 

But not Love

 但是不能買到真愛

 


So you see money isn't everything
.
所以金錢不是萬能的 

I tell you all this because I am your Friend,

我之所以告訴你這些道理,是因為我是你真正的朋友

 

and as your Friend I want to take away your pain and suffering.....

而身為你的朋友,我想要消除你的痛苦
免除你所受的折磨

  so send me all your money and I will suffer for you
所以把你的錢都 
寄來吧! 

我決定替你承受

這一切痛苦...... 

 

 A true Friend than me you will never find.
你再也不會找到任何一個比我更真心的朋


 

CASH ONLY PLEASE


我只收現金,謝謝!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

I just want to love you.

Flashbacks of what has happened in the past

Reminds me of what I've been through






still standing here.
i falled. but i managed to stand up.




right now....
an hour and a half to my macro paper
breathe easy......
it'll be better tomorrow...










wo xian zai zhen de hen bu kai xin
but what can i do?
let it flow like water
wishing one day, u'll smile happily from ur heart to ur loved one
i really wish you would really be happy for urself!
what you told me, really gave me a punch to my heart
I want to be the one
I want to love you
I want to be there for you
It's been a pretty amazing 70 days we've been together
I'm happy to have you.
But I'm not happy, because you're not happy.
I wish one day you'll realise
That all of those things aren't a big deal because I'm right here standing by you.
And hopefully, I have the chance to see you smile straight from your heart!
=')

Does it really matter to me?

Questions I've been askin myself...

Why am I feeling this way?
Why is it that I couldn't make you happy?
Why is it that sometimes I feel very down?
Why....
Today, you asked me whether I'd hate it if you were friends with tb's
I said not really. But in the case that person fancies you...
YES
You've been quite busy these few days...
I couldn't blame you for being busy... DUH*
But somehow... I just feel that you're not yourself nowadays...
I don't know why
Maybe i'm being sensitive or what...
I just feel very down lately
Maybe it's because what you've told me...
And what I saw in facebook...
Perhaps it's just an act of coincidence...
I text-ed you and said..
Don't tell anyone you've got me...
I lied..
I wanted everyone to know you've got me...
But all the actions you made...
Don't seem to make any sense that you really am happy to have me...
I don't know why it's hard for me to believe that someone really loves me
But I just know I really fell in love with you
What bothers me isn't those problems that couldn't be solved
We have a distance, i don't know what I should be doing to make you happy
As it seems that whatever I say...
You just won't laugh that much...
Maybe like you said...
You don't feel like talking...
Sighs...
I wana cry, but i can't cry out
I wana talk to you, but you don't feel like talking
I wana drink, but I've got a paper tmrw
I wana give up, but I can't do so... Not until you've found the one
Remember the promise i made to you?
Saying that i'll let go after exam finishes?
But in the end you said you wanted 520 days and going...
I was so happy and wanted to announce our relationship
But sadly... before it is even 100 days...
There is no more sign of it in your profile...
Perhaps, you just wana be mysterious...
I hope you're reading this...
Because I don't know what else could I do to tell you what I feel

Until you've found the one for you, I'll not give up.
*T.T*
I wana hold on to something to cry and let my sadness go away.
Having so many friends around me...
Which of you all are really there for me when I need you all?
Independent is a must to survive.
Shall wrap around myself and hide in my bed for a night.
Good night people.
The silence of the night is terrifying me.
I won't be able to speak to you tonight.
As the silence horrifies me. And your lips remained shut.
I wish you were happy with me.
I wish you are happy with me.
I wish you good luck in your paper tmrw.
I wish you will always remember these days when I'm gone.



= (
( =
its just the opposite anyway. who cares?!



Sunday, November 22, 2009

Give up.

I give up. I surrender. From this stupid thing.
Yeah, she's right.
Yeah, i'm being too nosy.
Yeah, i'm the leader of this whole thing.
I fucking give up.
I see nothing
I hear nothing
I sense nothing
I don't know anything


White Flag. YUUHOOO. WHITE FLAG D!
Fucking miss J, happy now?
YOU MAY ENJOY DOING WHAT YOU FEEL HAPPY DOING!
COS I DUN FUCKING CARE ANYMORE!
I FUCKING DONT CARE!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Visvim Christo CLOT Royale!







Visvim Christo CLOT Royale!!!!!
GRRRRR.....***drool***
I want!!!!!


The highly anticipated CLOT Royale x Visvim Christo has long been the source of much speculation regarding its release with an end in sight. For CLOT Royale, the use of Visvim’s sandal model the Christo was an obvious choice as it represented a popular item among the Asian market and suited the warm Asian climate. Keeping in line with CLOT Royale’s trademark use of silk, a handful of colors are set to release as CLOT aims to offer a culturally relevant product. To compliment the Visvim dust bag , an exclusive CLOT Royale silk dust bag will also be provided. The inaugural release will feature a yellow colorway on July 4th, exclusively at ACU/Juice with a suggested retail price of $2,680 HKD (approximately $342 USD). Due to the popularity of this release, a lottery system will be instituted with tickets given out at 10:00 am and the subsequent draw taking place at 10:30 am. More details for the other colors will be revealed at a later date.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

It's just Love afterall...

跟你一起,真的好开心
虽然见面的机会不是常有
至少我懂得我还有一个你在远方想着我
但是我觉得我自己真的好差
我时不时就吃了不应该吃的醋
也夺走了你的私隐
也许我不应该讲这一句话
但是我已经说出去了
"也许你根本都不了解我..."
但是这一切不是你的错
是我很难把心中的苦说出来
所受过的伤害,不是我不要把它埋起来
而是无时无刻都有人在提醒着我在爱情里的错误
我答应自己不可以重犯
但却无法相信最爱的人
老实说,我很相信你
但只有一件事我好难说服自己
就是你跟我的其他前任不一样
也许之前的她把我的心弄得太糟糕了
我没有办法把黑白分清.到底什么话是真的
什么话是假的
很抱歉...昨晚忽然攻击你...问你...
影响到了你考试的心情...
而今天早上你也没回复我
所以我大概就知道你是在忙...还是在生我的气
你说你不介意...但是我介意...也很内疚
不过做了,承认了,我也答应了不再那样
原因是我不要你因为我而改变自己

有一天,如果你找不到我
请你勇往直前,不要再回头看我有没有偷偷在你后面跟着你
不,不是因为我要放弃你
而是我不值得你爱
宁愿选择默默爱你
也不想再伤害任何人
你是个很好的人,相信没有我在你身边,你会更幸福.
我就是爱吃比我好的人的醋.
我就是不喜欢我爱的人会犹豫她到底选对了对象吗
犹豫,似乎不应该存在.
爱,就爱.不爱,就放.

今天早上,之前疯迷追她的她来向我告白了
我什么也没有说...
也懂我告诉你的话,你也不理的...
所以我不会告诉你...等你看到我的部落格的时候
想问,就问.不想问,也懂.

Mistakes are done for us to remember what happened in the past.
Should we ever repeat the same mistake?
Maybe sometimes we should.
As it will let all of us live a happier life.
You just have to always remember what the mistake cost you.
What happened in the past cost my precious time of doing things in a better way.
What happened in the past also make me fail to believe in love actually is just a simple thing.
I just failed to believe and trust those who really love me.
But one thing I really did succeed was loving you with all my heart. But just in a wrong way.
What more, it's just Love afterall.
Had so many disappointments this year.
And yet, this time, I let myself down.
Knowing that it's my fault. And I have known it well long before I did it.
I'm sorry darling. I need more time to believe that girls are not always so bad.
It's enough that I've had it with her. I don't want to go through hell again.






Tomorrow's accounts paper, I'm almost prepared. I just need a few fixes on my knowledge and I'll definitely pass it!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

GRRR. I despise you.

You think you're all that

But you ain't nothing but someone close to me
You think you're the best
Cos you're smarter than me
You may excel in academics
But I am pretty sure I'm gonna excel you in the future
You judge me for who I am
You judge me for what I'm doing
You judge me for what you don't know
Before you judge me, please judge yourself
And also THINK whether you have any excuse for yourself
I talked happily at night.
You? Sobbing away and always showing your fucked up face
At least I know I'm happy with someone else
YOU? Please, don't know where you're going after this
Wish you could just get some overseas job and SHOO AWAY!
Having you sitting beside me is like a hell to me
I still can't imagine how loud you type!
It's like thumping on the keyboard and expressing urself in a rude way to your lappie
Oh well, but ITS your lappie. not mine.
I just know I'll be good without you needing to order me!
I am who i am and you are just nothing to me!
Always making yourself feeling so sick
Gosh. Come ON! GO OUT AND LIVE LA!
Why are you staying here?
Even I couldn't stand the pressure being at home
and YOU? still wana find job here???
And you and your psycotic bf, goshh...
Till now I still can't forget how you both ditched me just to date
and what happened
Not because I'm not a forgiving person but just
what you both did was totally unacceptable.
I've forgiven you but that does not make me trust you again
You told me you're going down to KL for xmas
You told me you're a changed person now.
HELL NO! go and take a look at yourself in the mirror and give yourself a few good slaps!
WHO ARE YOU TO BE NAGGING WHAT I DO IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?!?!??!
AT LEAST I'M NOT SOBBING AWAY EVERY NIGHT!
I HATE YOU! I DESPISE YOU!!!!!!!!!
I despise you who think you're all that and that smart.
But you just don't know what the hell you're losing of in your life.
Even mom said you're stupid for turning down the offer!
STUPIDO!

Monday, November 2, 2009

----一句的对不起

失望多了,是否每当听到<对不起>这三个字时都很害怕?
不敢想象下一句会是什么...
也许已经好久没人真心的只想为他们所做错的事情而向我道歉...
而不是想要跟我硬撑的缘故而跟我说道歉...
所以让我觉得每当心爱的她,对我说对不起这三个字时都很害怕
没有要怪之前的她把我搞成这样,这也只是代表我已经受够了她的一切
我愿意放开之前的一切,就只想好好的爱她.
之前的她教过我不可以随便对任何人说对不起
但有时我还是说了...
不是因为要给自己理由伤害别人
而只是很诚心的像某人说
但却有人对我说时我会愣了起来...
也许失望太过多次了...
我不懂我该怎么接受...一句简单的"对不起"

矛盾?Yes, i never said i was not!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

一个简单的约定.

18.12.09 00:00:01

今天起...
每天都会倒数我跟你所谓"在一起"的时间.
每天都会珍惜你有在我身边的时间.
每天都会记得叫你路上小心,记得吃东西等等.
唯有剩下的时间,让我们珍惜彼此.
不在乎天长地久,只在乎曾经拥有.
不管到最后你的决定是怎样,我只想要你开心.
我只想要你到最后记得我曾经爱过你.
只要你记得这世界上还有一个用真心爱你的人.
那就好.= )
乐观看待事情,乐观看待生活.
我就只要求开心.不要求永远了...
因为永远不存在.永远只是骗人的一句词.
时间一秒一分一时地走...
害怕吗?我承认.我害怕.
不再怕孤独,不再怕失望.
因为我要开心地跟你一起度过这开心的时间.
仅仅的52天,我要过得很充实!
小姐小姐...可以让我爱你吗?=))

Monday, October 26, 2009

concerns. doubts. POSITIVE THINKING RULES!

some asked me,why don't make it public?

i said... because we're taking exams.

some asked me,why don't she admit?
i said... because something happened just few months back and wasn't quite the right time

some asked me,are you sure?
i said... i dont know...

then another one asked me, what's gonna happen next?
i said... i could only just do what i should be doing and don't think about it yet

and in the end, i answered...
if she really wants to play on me, just let it be
if she really wants to hurt me, just let it be
if she feels happy that way, just let it be
i could only know at least i'm still alive
though i cross my fingers tight and believe that she will be the one
there are still part of me that doubts what i have this day
but i am just gona enjoy who i have and what i'm doing right now.

i wouldn't dare to question if she's serious or not.
because i trust her, i don't really want to make myself disappointed
even if the truth is she will disappoint me in the end
i'd just take it and leave it.
because i know, it is not the end of my life with a failed connection
because i know, time is needed to find the right one.
no matter what happens in 2 months from now, i can only pray that everybody will be happy in the end of this chapter of my life.

the starting of a new chapter, the starting of a whole new life, with or without her, i'm gona be the best of who i am. = )
(positive thinking ruleS!)


sometimes, when i look back to the past, how stupid i felt for giving it all in for something that wasn't true enough. but i'm still glad i walked passed the darkest moments in my life. even though it took me quite a long time, i'm glad that i've met you.
not hoping that we would stick together forever, but i just have to tell you, i'm happy being with you. all the others that matters, let's just love each other for as long as we can.
P/S: even if one day you will disappoint me, don't blame urself. things cannot be forced. = )
time flies, and we'll meet again. mwahs*
crabbie missie meemeee~~kakakas

Friday, October 23, 2009

updates. photos only. -ju yin's bday- the ship- batu feringghi night market-















Sunday, October 18, 2009

挣扎.深呼吸.

是他们把我们带大.
是他们把我们抚养成今天.
我知道当你们知道真正的我时有多失望.
你们那时也没有说你们要我怎样.
只说要我读好书来.以后的事慢慢谈.
我想,我要的考试后的日子,不懂你们会不会允许.
我没有做犯法的事情.我没有抽烟,我没有吸毒.
我只是做回了我自己.明年就要19岁了.
好想跟朋友们一起出去玩玩.
为什么我姐可以去香港,可以去北京,可以整天跟朋友到处去.
而我,就得在家?
是否因为他们要把我改变成他们想要的女儿?
是否因为他们不想要有多一个女儿?
是否因为我成绩不能比姐姐好,脑子没有像姐姐那么好
是否因为我想做真正的自己,他们觉得很荒谬,他们不肯接受?
是否要永远把我绑在他们身边?是否要等到我疯了你们才肯放手?

刚才跟妈咪去付钱买香水时,我说,我欠她的钱,很快就要变三千块了.
然后她就问到三千了没有,我说还没有.还有大概三四百..
然后我就说,到时要拿钱时叫她给我cash,给我去跟朋友旅行.
她就问,去哪里?跟谁去?什么朋友?你知道我跟你爸爸很担心你的朋友的吗?
你们去kl住哪里?谁带你们去?怎么去?问你爸爸.我没有意见
没有意见又问那么多?
没有意见又说道那么一大堆.
有时我很向往考完试后的生活.
我想,去office做工.我想,开online business.我想,赚比较多钱给自己去旅行,买自己想要的东西
但是因为之前发生的事..让你们对我没有信心.
很多人都认为说我如果真的肯努力,我一定会达到我想要的梦想.
而我的梦想,就是做回自己的同时,你们成全我.
给了你们善意的谎言,我真的觉得很内疚.
而这种内疚,不懂会持续多久.
但我很肯定的是,都走了那么久了...你说要变,就能变?
当我问你们时,你们只对我说,你要的话,一定可以的.
问题是,我根本不想要变.因为我虚假不了一辈子.真的很抱歉.
...当我听到你说你没有意见的这些话时..让我觉得..真的好困难哦..
真的让我很难呼吸.很难笑起来.
当时买了tripod和香水.想笑,但却露不出一丝的笑容.
整个人觉得好被约束.
妈咪说,问爸爸.但她却多加一句,"我跟你爸爸都很怕你的朋友的...不懂什么人来的.."
做到我真的好低落...
下午时,从gym回来就去冲凉了...
偷哭了一下...感觉好压力...感觉好辛苦...
却找不到人听我诉苦...
想告诉家人.却怕把事情弄得更大.很讨厌被念,很讨厌被本地大学的这个字影响.
昨天下午时,就到了阿嫲家找表弟表妹.刚好去到时他们都在睡觉,就只有阿姨没有睡...
这个三姨,对我们都很好,都会试着去了解我们年轻一辈的...
当她问我,要读什么时,我说要读business之类的东西..
她就建议我拿private uni才有的degree in commerce.
我告诉她,我也想过.只是我父母...
她就说,拿loan,住她家,用她的车,但要载我表弟他们上课罢了.哈哈..
我也想这样...
只是...问题不在于我身上...
最近功课超多的...所以..当找不到答案时,一定会发牢骚,发脾气,很想哭的...
因为那种面临考试...大考试的压力...真的不简单..
以前考spm都不会怎样...但是这次...
真的是人命关天啊...
当然,我考不好的话,我自己会安排出路的...
只是不想辜负他们对我的期望,我一定要做到最好...
我的愿望,我要的A...2A 2B-
这样就够了...PA and ekonomi...我比较有信心...拿A
剩下的...我会尽量在paper2里下功夫...
我只想要一个属于我自己的家...属于我和你的家.
本来昨天没有事情的,所以就没告诉你了...
但是今天我真的很想爆发...却像迷你火山爆发罢了...
如果考完试,他们还要绑到我死死...
很抱歉,我一定会爆发了...
如果你们说担心我的安全不给我去kl,it's okay.
but if 你们说我哪里都不可以去,就只可以放工回来呆在家...
i'm so sorry, i will have to break your heart.
It's my life. not yours.
It's my future. not yours.
You brought me up to give me the guidelines towards life.
Thank you. But I have my own perspective towards life.
I just want a simple life, with someone I cherish and not live the life you want me to.
Because if I do, it would be your second life, not my personal life.
You gave me things you could give. I do cherish it.
But please let me be what I want to be and who I want to be.
Please just leave me alone as long as I have taken my Degree.
I'd still care if you don't push me.
I'd still come back to visit you if I go away from this tiny little island.
If I fail, it will be my problem. I know you and dad will be there for me.
But I will only learn my lesson if you let me walk myself, run around, and fall down.
Please, for once, try to understand what I want...
Even though you both will not be reading this,
And when you do, i know you'll be scolding me again and again and again
I'm so tired of you all controlling my life.
Please let me be with who I want and what I want to do.
Please...

深呼吸
未来要走的不平坦的路还很远
不管有没有爱人在我身边
我觉得,我必须鼓起勇气面对这些未来的事情
我要努力
我要做出成绩
我一定要成功
失败的话,我不会气馁
至少我知道我正在过我想要的生活
狗,也会不听话,
人,不是狗,
我们根本不需要听话
只需要听自己心里的话!

Saturday, October 17, 2009

<3 random.

*hearts*
It's nice having you. It's nice knowing you.
It's nice loving you. You're in my heart now. = )
Honesty is a must for us to work.
Trust is needed as we both have a distance.
As long as there is the will power to succeed,
Our hearts will be with each other for a long long time.
Still waiting for the day(u know i know) to come,
Though we both know it will be soon before long. *-) winks**
Thank you for coming into my life babe.

I think I'm in love with you. = )


Alright, back to main stuff.
Haven't been blogging for a longggggggggggggggggggg time i know.
hehes. After trials, went down to KL and met you. And took lotsa pics in KL
Just couldn't have the chance to resize it and post it up here.
But pictures are however posted on facebook already.

I've got plans, plans which I wana do after I finish my exams.
Plans that I'm gona make sure I do it.
KL trip, redang trip, genting trip, bei jing trip and perth(still not confirmed) trip.
Gotta earn lotsa money for these trips.
But all on planning already. It's just the matter of time till we finish our exams.
Kakas. Looking forward for the trips down south though.
Penang is filled with people who are terrible. GOshh...
I mean not all Penang people are bad.. but some..
Just so realistic and love to take advantage of STUDENTS one...
><



Thursday, September 17, 2009

Trials Overrrrrrr~~~~~

Yupps. Trials over, but this means the actual STPM is around the corner....
=))
Well, holiday starts tomorrow and i'm really looking forward to my trip to kl.
There'll be lots of photos and i shall update it right here and in facebook.
Comments allowed~~ WAIT FOR MY UPCOMING POST~~~

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Long exposure shot.



Don't know how i got this shot. But i'm loving it! 

Friday, August 28, 2009

Something personal...

It's been a long long time since I've touched the piano
(Been listening to Jim Brickman's album over and over again)
It's been a long long time I've never felt this way before =)
But however, sometimes things just don't go our way
And therefore, we shall always remember that we have our friends and family to hold us back on
I guessed it was too soon for me to believe in love again
I guessed it was too soon for me to feel this way again
I thought you would feel the same way too
But I guess I'm being too insensible
I'll wish you happiness, I will.







I guessed I just really like you.
That's all I could say

No, I don't love you. I just really like you. =') friend's always.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Totally random again.





Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Random...

Should have taken the larger picture. So much noise in the small pictures. 
Can't wait to finish stpm and really really put an effort in photography. 
Heees. =D
Life's brought to a halt as trial's coming soon.
Study week next week before Merdeka. Perhaps meeting some friends? Still gotta decide on that later on. 





Things just keep going on and on and on....
I'm tired, exhausted and would not want to think so much anymore. 
Just let things flow naturally. As it's quite clear that chances are thin .
Oh well, I guess I'm ready to move on already...
Just let it flow~~ let it flow.. let it flow...