Previous Dinners. == Didn't know I didn't upload these. From E&O Hotel.

Im only gona break break break break your heart .

Happy 20th Birthday Miss Lay. = ) *mwahs*

WheeewiT~~~~ O.O longkang.. deep deep~!

Miss Ng with her........usual pose. LOL!

Side dishes!

Kimchi pancake.

Dolsot Bibimbap!

Kimchi Jjigae, Beef, Pork, Bibimbap!

The two lovely ladies. hmMmm.

Happy Rubbish Family. = ) Though some did not make it. At least most of us came!

--------------------------------------------

This was on my sister's convocation. At UUM. End of March.

Attending the far right lady's wedding in KL on 3rd May. = ) Guess I'll be seeing my KL friends I guess. If not, try end of may when I'm going to stay there for a few weeks. Hahah!

Now, everybody knows that i have a crush on missy moon. I tried not to make it so public. But there are blog viewers and etc that do some talking behind me. I actually don't mind. So, anyway, felt a *bump* in my heart. I really don't want to explain much here. All I could say is. If this is what its meant to be, just take it. Don't try to change the fact where its already the truth. Because you'll probably end up screwing up the whole damn thing.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Talked to dee dee about this. She felt pity for me. Well, at least she cheered me up by praising me and putting me on cloud nine. Hahah. She said I'm being very nice and the best thing about me is that I don't put a drama if those thing happened. I'd accept the truth and live on and be friends. I could accept and all that. I'm very glad she said that. Because what happened between me and dee dee are the past. And I must admit that I've tried my best to love everyone who becomes my partner. Except for those ungrateful ones. I must admit that I do feel sad and disappointed. But I'm glad that she did the right thing. Thank you missy moon. = ) I'll always be at your side if you ever need me. Well, in fact, I've decided to put a halt onto my love life. Shocking? Not really. LOL. Would just want to rest a while, give myself some time to focus on something more realistic.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Yesterday was one of my form 6 friends' birthday. Went to Korea Palace for dinner. Scrumptious meal for only rm170++ for 5 people. After that, headed to ZenZibar for Dean Dean's birthday. Promised her I would show up. So, went with josephine and ju yin and stop by for a drink. Had couple cups of beer. And josephine was quite beh syok that wherever or whichever bar we go, the LADY bar attendants always pour drinks for me and not for her. Well, too bad, I'm more sexy I guess. Hahah!! Then Dean's cousin, Sheila kept pushing me to drink. And in the end, my stomach was filled with kimchi and beer. Its a NO-NO situation as you may puke! Was feeling a bit dizzy and floating cause of fast beer drinking. Had negative thoughts in mind as well. Don't know what I was thinking, doing or talking. == . What a dangerous situation for me. Then.... said something I shouldn't be saying to missy moon. I was quite O.O when I saw her reply. == . It really made me confused one more time for that day itself. A confusing day. HmMmmm.... And in the end, I doze off very quickly. And I couldn't recall what I said the next morning right after I woke up and finally thought of what I said earlier during mid-day. == Consequences of drinking beer fast!

--------------------------------------------------------------

I finally took the initiative to blog and post pictures. Not a bad start eh? All functionable after 11.59pm. LOL!

有些人假装很坚强，其实很爱你。。

有一些人

。貌似很花心、其实很专一

。貌似很坚强、其实比谁都要脆弱

。貌似很开心、可是笑容背后的哀伤谁又能懂...

。其实很多时候

。这一类人都是在自我折磨

。明明很爱很爱对方

。却宁愿心痛的死掉

。也选择任眼泪随意放肆...



。其实很多时候

。这一类人很好懂

。他们很害怕孤单

。因为一个人的时候

。他们会胡思乱想

。他们会想起那个没有结局的故事

。会想起那个模糊却又清晰的脸庞

。因为一个人的时候

。他们会觉得很没安全感

。他们的要求总是那么的低

。只要爱着的那个人陪着他们就好...

。其实很多时候

。这一类人都很敏感

。都很容易猜疑

。一个眼神、一个动作

。都会让他们神经兮兮一整天

。所以不要让他们恐慌

。不要让他们伤心



。其实很多时候

。这一类人都在感伤

。不是他们多愁善感

。只是容易触景生情罢了

。他们喜欢用文字来刻写他们的心情

。这也是他们的一种寄托方式...

。其实很多时候

。这一类人都处在矛盾之中

。是继续还是暂停？

。是放弃还是坚持？

。看似感性的他们

。却往往于最后...

。总是让理性驾驭整个思维...



。其实很多时候

。这一类人总是活在过去

。他们总是不经意地在现在的生活中找一些似曾相识的感觉

。虽然他们自我约定要忘记过去

。可是他们忘了...

。过去早以在脑海根深蒂固...

。其实很多时候

。这一类人害怕看见别人的甜蜜

。不是嫉妒

。只是会觉得和以前的自己好像

。然后会陷入整个回忆

。待过往的疼痛唤醒自己的意识

。再一个人慢慢舔舐自己的伤口...



。其实很多时候

。这一类人都很执著

。有时候不明白他们在坚持着什么

。他们是在期待那个没有结局的故事的结局还是在等待更大

的伤害

。他们就是傻

。这一类人

。脾气太臭、不仅任性、而且敏感多疑

。所以请用真心对待他们

。因为他们的心脆得很

。伤不起……


I was this stupid. I am this stupid. So fuck off if you have a problem with it!

Oh gosh. Empty.

My oh my, I'm feeling numb again.
No, not because i've been sitting too long or sleeping too long.
But everything is so sudden, I don't know if it's pain or it's joy.
In my previous post I mentioned somebody.
That somebody whom I really thought would be someone whom I can start a new chapter. But something happened just hours after I wrote the blog about her. It came to a question and a doubt my friends asked me. I know they were trying to remind me of my previous mistakes and all that. I just never thought it could be stuck on my mind. She asked me what they asked, I honestly told her. And I told her I was thinking too. I didn't want to hide from her. But, it was something to be discussed over someday. It was a matter of trust. I really blame myself for making her pissed off with me. She definitely had the rights to be pissed off at me and disappointed at me. All I wanted was to NOT lie to her and say I'm okay and keeping all the stuff to myself. Before J, I had a terrible encounter which made me totally frightened and I don't know what happened. I am protecting myself too much. I wanted to love *miss somebody* with all my heart and start a new relationship. It really shattered my heart when she said she was going to leave. I didn't want her to leave. Although it is a decision I truly hate, but I just wanted her to be happy and I wanted her to be mine only. I never said I was not greedy. I want her to be truly to me only. I never asked, she never thought, I said things to her I mean, but I screwed it up altogether.
It's my 4th time. And it fucking hurts my self confidence.
Sorry is not the best word to make her stay. I asked her not to leave. She said she didn't want to think. I'm sorry for making her think this way and be confused and upset. Things weren't really well with me. It really made me vomit. Determined to fight for a chance to get her for myself, I asked her to reconsider somehow.
I've thought about this while I was waiting for something to be done. I found out that, what I really want is someone who could commit herself only to me. No, I'm not saying that she can't. But in a short period of time, we can't be together. She has her concerns. I was about to tell her that, C is now with another one. And I really felt happy for her. I need to say I'm not feeling anything. Because with the joy for her having another one, and the tears for letting *miss somebody* go, I really felt empty. All over again, it was empty. What I wanted to tell *miss somebody*, couldn't be reached anymore unless she just accidentally bumps into my blog. I want commitments from her. But its not going to be easy for her to figure out who she prefers. It's been a while since I wanted someone to fill my life. But, I guess I'd just have to stick to myself. = ( I miss *miss somebody*.
Oh well, shut the fuck up and rest.